Thursday, April 23, 2015

Anonymous Sex In The Park


The only thing I ever really learned from all the «sex offender» treatment programs I've been in was all about different kinds of deviant sex. I honestly had no idea, for example, that anonymous sex in the park was a «thing» until I heard another man in a «sex offender» group-meeting telling the group all about how he went to parks at night for sex. He was very specific about what parks, and how he let the other men «cruising» the park know what he wanted. He even explained how he avoided undercover cops. This was all part of the required «sex offender» treatment that was one of the conditions of my parole to Seattle in 1994.

Fortunately, my first parole officer let me switch to one-on-one counseling with a therapist/counselor who specialized in counseling homosexuals (not «sex offenders»). I believe this move kept me from «re-offending» a lot sooner than I did, if for no other reason than the fact that Glen, the homo-counselor, never put any «ideas» into my head, while he effectively shunted many «deviant» ideas that were already there. He helped me feel a lot more «normal» (and hence helped me behave a lot more «normal») and acceptable for who I was. But, I never told Glen what I had learned about anonymous park-sex, because I wanted to find out more about that for myself. It was a seed well planted.

So, one day after work, instead of catching the usual bus home, I took a bus that passed by Volunteer Park instead (one of the best known «cruising» parks in Seattle, I soon discovered!). It was already after dark by the time I got to the park. I had actually «cruised» the park a few nights ago before this visit, and had a bit of a scare that caused me to literally flee the park and go home before anything happened (sex, that is). I had entered the park fully expecting --- according to what I had heard in that group meeting --- to see men «all over the place» having sex. But, I didn't see anyone. The park seemed empty. I was sure I had the right day, and time of day, for ample activity, but it seem my information had been wrong. At least, until I ventured off the main road and into the shadows of a stand of trees that was laced with trails.


I stepped into a kind of tunnel formed by some bushes and tree branches, and had to wait a few seconds for my eyes, and my mind, to adjust to what seemed (at the time) like a scene literally out of a really creepy horror movie. There were several men in there, just standing quietly in the shadows, clearly waiting for something. At the time I had no idea what they were actually waiting for. But, I learned later that they were waiting to see who I was; that is... they were waiting to see what I did next. My behavior upon first entering this «underworld» was critical. It would tell them what I wanted, or even whether or not I was likely a cop. I figured all that out later (again, largely by reflecting on what I heard in that «sex offender» group and relating it to what I actually experienced in the park). But at the time I was completely «freaked out» by all those men just standing quietly in the shadows; so I turned around and left, using all my courage to not run, but I left the park on that first visit much more quickly and more directly than I had entered it, that's for certain.

Once I was out safe, I started thinking about what had happened. Nobody chased me, or even followed me. So, it wasn't quite the threatening situation that it first seemed. Then over the next few days I managed to piece together what had happened, and decided to return for another «look» (in all honesty, curiosity was probably a much stronger motive for me than sex at this point). And thus the alternate bus route home a few days later. On this trip I was less afraid while in the park, but realized I had more to be afraid of afterwards!


Again, the park seemed empty as I entered this time from a completely different direction (from the north, instead of the south like last time). I headed for the same clump of trees though, and entered the shadows from a slightly more open (and lit) entrance. But this time the trails that crisscrossed throughout the trees and bushes were nearly deserted. I spotted two men almost right away, but they didn't seem interested in me at all, so I wandered around a bit looking for more, and better, prospects.

I didn't find any. This time it appeared the park really was empty, except for those first two men... ALL except those first two men. That alone --- even though this was next to my very first time really cruising a park for sex --- was «suspicious» to me. Something didn't feel right. But, in new situations like this a feeling like that is easy to dismiss. So, I didn't run out of the park like last time. But, I didn't leave either. Instead I returned to the slightly better lit area where I first saw the other two men.

They were still there. In fact, they were still standing in the exact same positions doing the exact same thing (i.e. looking disinterested). I said, «Hello.» One of them said «hello» in return. I remember acting nervous and uncertain (because I was). I tried to start up a conversation with the man who spoke, the closest one to me (only a few feet away, with the other man a bit further, about 15 feet or so, but close enough to hear everything being said though he remained silent the entire time). The man who spoke was a middle-aged white man. I couldn't tell how old his silent partner was, but he seemed younger. I told the man who spoke that I had «heard» that men come to parks like this, at night, to have sex. I remember him asking where I heard that; and me telling him that I saw it on the news (lying, of course). After a few more failed attempts to get these men interested, I began to realize that something was definitely wrong about this whole situation, and started calculating a «best exit» strategy. Running away is a good last resort, but seldom a good first choice since nearly all «predators» expect their prey to run. So, running away flags you as prey. It's much smarter to leave a dangerous animal situation as calmly as possible, and it was clear to me that these men were «dangerous animals» of some sort.

But, before I could make my own move they made theirs. The first man gave some sort of signal to the man standing further away. They approached each other, and whispered something between them. At this point I was thinking it was time to run, and if both men would have turned one step in my direction I would have. But, the second man turned away from me and walked off into the trees. The first man turned toward me, and instead of approaching he just said, «Come on..», and walked off into an open field.


That was a relatively «safe» direction, so I just followed him. He lead me out of the park and back to the main road. Once we got there, he said, «Go home, the park is not a good place for you to be.» And, I did exactly what he said, not even yet realizing what had just happened, and just glad once more that I was «out safe» again.

It didn't take me long to realize that these two men were undercover police officers; «dangerous animals» indeed! (I) Over the years I became much better at spotting the police. Sometimes I even taunted them (by making them think I was going to take the «bait» and then just walking away). I also took the time to learn the legal «hooks» they used (i.e. behavioral boundaries that had to be crossed before they could make an arrest). I learned the REAL «hooks», by reading police manuals and case law, not the fake «hooks» that the police themselves circulate on the streets in order to cover the «scent» of their real «hooks».

But, undercover cops weren't the only danger in the parks. There were all sorts of «dangerous animals» prowling around in those parks bushes at night, and over the years I encountered almost every kind. But, I never again felt as afraid as I was that first night, or even the second. Because, I prepared myself just as meticulously for all of them (i.e. by educating myself --- information is always the best weapon, and the best defense). I never took risks with diseases (by knowing what «signs» to look for and always using a rubber to be safe). And I learned the «patterns» of behavior to watch for so I could spot a «mugger» as quick as a cop (the «muggers» in the parks will pretend to be interested in sex, but since they're usually more into drugs than sex it's not hard to weed them out, and I «escaped» several in my time (and not all just in the parks). I even averted a «rapist» once, who tried to force me to have sex after I was finished and no longer interested. I simply told him in a very calm and serious voice that if he didn't let go of me I was going to break his neck. He let go, but I sometimes wonder if it might have been more fun to just let him have his way (as long as he used a condom, of course).

I actually ended up having a lot of interesting experiences over my years in the «real world» while pursuing anonymous sex in parks (not to mention, sex clubs and porn theaters). At first I would go on the busiest nights and at the busiest times, and I'd take part in some pretty strange «orgies» with more than a dozen men at a time surging through the park having sex sporadically. In Seattle I was young enough and good-looking enough to always have my pick and my way, which gave me a wonderful sense of power and control over the men I let use me (something I learned to enjoy after getting raped so much in prison). I'd often let several men use me at the same time, filling my «holes» at both ends, and both hands, all at once, while someone «pleasured» me too. Over time though I started going on less busy nights, because it just felt more comfortable for me to not have so much going on at one time... probably safer too.


On one of the busy nights I met an older Chinese man and we ended up becoming friends, even though his English wasn't very good. I only mention him because he was the only man I ever kissed passionately in a park during anonymous sex. He was completely naked when I first saw him, and he was standing near an orgy of about a half dozen men or so that was taking place in the middle of a grass field at Volunteer Park. Nobody seemed to be paying him much attention, but I was fixated as soon as I saw him. In the dark he looked a lot like a young boy. He was short, with a slender and hairless body. When I got up close I could tell he was older than I had hoped, but it wasn't hard for me to imagine that he was much younger, which is exactly what I did as I started touching him all over and molesting his butt and undersized penis (where he had some hair, but not a lot, and it was soft... uh, the hair, not the penis!). He responded so eagerly to my fondling that I couldn't help but kiss him passionately on the mouth. I climaxed almost immediately, without ever even attempting any kind of intercourse. And then, as was my habit, I found my own clothes in some bushes where I had hidden them, got dressed, and left the park to go home satisfied. Only this time I had some company.

The little Chinese man had followed me like a lost puppy that had just gotten a scrap of food from a stranger. I didn't actually realize I was even being followed until I got out of the park and he called to get my attention. Using a combination of gestures and broken English (badly «broken» English at that) he managed to let me know that he had a car and offered to drive me home. He was so cute, and seemed completely harmless, and I was pretty tired, and it was at least a couple of miles to my apartment near downtown, so I accepted.

He drove a large older American muscle car (like a 70's Charger or something similar), which was a bit strange for such a small Chinese man. When we got to my apartment I invited him in, and even though it was much harder to imagine he was a boy in the light of my apartment, we made love again, but with him it was never much more than fondling and mutual masturbation, and he loved sucking my dick too.

As it turned out, he was «sprung» on me because of the way I so passionately kissed him in the park, and because he thought my cock was «huge» (for him, it was!). He started showing up at my apartment unannounced looking for sex (I'd have to buzz him in from the security entrance, so I didn't mind) about once a week or so, and that's how we became friends. He would bring little gifts for me, but nothing expensive or of any real value. Once he brought me a leather «cock ring», but I thought it was a bracelet and put it on my wrist instead of on my cock. He didn't correct my error though for some reason (and I didn't figure out what a «cock ring» was until many years later). I think he was being polite about my ignorance.

I only «brought home» one other man from a park for sex besides my little Chinese friend. Nearer to my apartment was another less popular cruising park called «Freeway Park» (because it literally was built over top of the Interstate-5 freeway). I went there often looking for sex at night because it was less than a few blocks (five minute walk) from my place. But, the «pickings» there were fewer and much less «desirable» (lots of drug addicts and homeless men). And, because there was less traffic, and the park was so much closer to downtown, it was also more dangerous. (This was the park where a man once grabbed me and tried to force me to continue having sex with him after I had finished). I met a tall passive homeless black man here, and after letting him fuck my ass in the park (with a condom, of course; always with a condom), I asked him if he wanted to fuck me some more back at my apartment. I could tell he was more scared of me than I was of him (he was apparently mentally handicapped, which is common for homeless people, and the reason I felt safe inviting him back to my apartment for sex). But, the only reason I wanted him to come back with me to my apartment was because I had a camera hidden in a speaker that was focused on my hide-a-bed. When we got back to my apartment I was able to secretly turn on the camera and record myself getting butt-fucked by a big black homeless man as I lay naked and spread-eagle on my bed. I loved that recording (it was the only «hidden camera» recording I ever made) and I masturbated to it a lot (saving myself a lot of trips to the parks in the process). I eventually destroyed the tape though, by «nuking» it in my microwave oven, along with some other tapes that I couldn't risk keeping when I moved in with Joe and Ed in North Seattle.

All-in-all, I never regretted my trips to the parks for sex. And, to this day I frequently masturbate to my memories of those experiences, and often imagine new ways that I could have enjoyed anonymous sex even more, such as shaving my legs, wearing a wig, and dressing like a whore. That would have been a lot of fun!

(J.D. April 10, 2015)


Notes:
(I) I presume that the reason the undercover cop escorted me out of the park and told me to go home was because I did not do anything «rude» or «obscene» to spring their trap. They probably decided I was clearly inexperienced, and essentially «too small a fish to fry». So they «threw me back» and no doubt reset their hooks after I was gone.